where am i from again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
