I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
