what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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