He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
