I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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