I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
