i need an iv and a liver transplant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
