im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
