my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
