you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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