we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
