I think my fart just growled at me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
