the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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