You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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