I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
