no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
