Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
