party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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