She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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