I think i peed on brittanys purse
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im six kinds of drunk right now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
