Pappa wants mamma naked
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
