I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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