what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
