i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
