FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
