The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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