Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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