I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
