I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
