what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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