It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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