His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
