i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
