Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
