Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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