My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Found the puke drawer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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