So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
