I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
