Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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