So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize