Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
