You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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