The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
