my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she told me i tasted like america
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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