nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im six kinds of drunk right now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
