i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
