I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
