yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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