Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
