no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize