WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize