I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
