Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
