My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
