We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
