I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
