My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
