i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
