He uses pillows to masturbate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
