I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
